Anger

Anger

He told me he’d be my friend,
Help me cope and defend.
But he became my life’s bane,
And Anger was his name.

He filled a large vacuum in my life,
Cost me Elaine and a second wife.
He was born of ignorance and fear,
He denied me happiness and a career.

My aura exuded a threatening aggression,
The friends I lost became a procession.
And those who loved me I also lost,
I was unable to give love lest it cost.

My need to control everything around me
Was an irrational reaction to my anxiety.
From a very young age I feared rejection,
Of being judged as someone of imperfection.

And then blaming other people for these flaws,
Including my loved ones for their “lack” of support.
I felt that I was drowning and unable to swim,
Imagining everyone around me sporting a grin.

I have always been a person of great emotion,
A man who craved love, acceptance and devotion.
To feel like an island is to feel socially adrift,
And to be intellectually isolated is to feel unfit.

My real regret was that my anger was misdirected,
Those that I loved I should have protected.
I now realise that I was simply scared of their love,
BecauseĀ  I didn’t trust it was something I deserved.

I know now that it’s true, happiness is a choice,
And that Anger never deserves to have a voice.
It’s an inappropriate reaction and when it’s all done
It’s a fear that life is a battle never to be won.

There are no heroes, no victors, when Anger prevails,
There is no dignity, no integrity, when all else fails.
I was blessed with a rich man’s soul, so much potential,
But I rejected it all and fostered the disease mental.

Now I have rejected Anger and embraced self-belief,
My life is full, so full, and valuable, I’m at peace.
If only I’d known what I know now to be true,
That the journey of discovery is to find the real you.

And once that happens, and you know who you are,
Embraced that truth without doubt, fear or alarm,
Anger will not touch you and peace you will find,
A happiness beyond you, sight of a light until now blind.

 

Geoff Mooney