Anger - We can all do without it


Anger is an inappropriate reaction to fear. It’s a defence mechanism (flight or fight). It’s personal, and it’s destructive. The trick to eliminating it from your life is to eliminate the fear.

That means working toward the goals in life to which we all aspire - happiness, self-esteem, self-confidence, and a sense that whatever life throws at you can be managed. An important step in that journey is humility, recognising that your life is an absolute blessing - particularly when compared to the vast majority of human beings. You are not special, and to accept that both good and bad things will occur during this minuscule opportunity called life will give you great strength. To learn to react rationally to unfortunate circumstance by simply shrugging your shoulders can be achieved by developing deeper empathy, learning to laugh more, and not taking yourself or life itself too seriously.

Anger is most obvious in people of low self-esteem. They are constantly angry with the world because they are angry with themselves. They never feel safe, threatened by a world that has told them from a young age that they are inadequate. They are perceived as being “thin skinned”, ready to react negatively to an adverse situation or “insult”. They don’t realise the power of forgiveness, not only of others, but particularly of themselves.

Anger is very different from frustration, that being defined by many simply as disappointment. It should be recognised for exactly that. It need not threaten you personally - unless you choose to allow it to do so.

Stress is inherently feeling overwhelmed and threatened. It often expresses itself as anger. One of the greatest causes of stress is the need to both conform and provide. The key to the former is to reach the point where you completely accept and approve of who you are as an individual. Actually, for me it has been the cornerstone of my adult involvement. I know that I am different from most others, but I’m fine wig that, even if others may object. Providing refers to earning enough money to support your needs and responsibilities. This was the hardest one for me. The realisation that you don’t need much (as in possessions) helps a lot. But the duty of financial responsibility was something I unfortunately avoided. I wish I hadn’t. I now realise that the “system” wasn’t the problem so much as my attitude to it. I found it threatening, whereas it could have been my friend had I changed my thinking.

Anger is the antithesis of peace. And, as you know, world peace starts within each of us - personally. Peace cannot be fought for or won, it is an achievement that is earned through enlightenment and education. Imagine a world with out anger.

  Geoff Mooney